Master of None
March 2008
16 posts
February 2008
21 posts
The Bacon Bowl - This Should Have Been Invented Ages Ago
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. More bacon. Less bowl. Oh, god - there are so many applications! Salad in bacon (pictured), but can you imagine a bacon burrito bowl? Forget the tortilla! Grits in a bacon bowl! Poached egg in a bacon bowl!
I would stop short at cereal. Barely.
via Dethroner
“And while I have always said I am not running for president, the race is too important to sit on the sidelines, and so I have changed my mind in one area. If a candidate takes an independent, nonpartisan approach — and embraces practical solutions that challenge party orthodoxy — I’ll join others in helping that candidate win the White House.”
—Mayor Michael Bloomberg, NY Times Op-Ed
Play
Behold: Canned Hamburgers
Available only in Germany, some guy at The AV Club (which is somehow affiliated with The Onion) managed to actually get his hands on one through Ebay. Let’s just say that what was inside was a bit less appetizing than what was advertised (disclaimer: the pictures and video on the link are not for the faint of heart).
Reactions from those who actually sampled this product:
- ”Oh, auuugh. It’s awful. Have these people ever had hamburger before?”
- “Boy, that taste really stays in your mouth, doesn’t it?”
- “That was so bad.”
- A. “I think it’s more the soggy bun than the meat.” B. “No, it really is the meat that’s the problem. Oh God.”
- A. “When I first tasted it, it didn’t bother me, but it festered.” B. “Really? I gagged the second it hit my tongue.”
Play
“On Friday Lost City had a little chat with Steve Shlopak, owner of the once doomed West Village staple Chumley’s, and was told the place is now set to open in May—and that repairs and restoration work was beginning as soon as today. Set your calendars to T-minus ninety days. Barring complications, late May/early June it shall be.”
—Eater.com, giving new hope to West Village residents who have been long-deprived of Chumley’s ale, fries, and burgers.
Tom Otterness Summarizes My Thoughts on the US Consumer
I hadn’t ever heard of Tom Otterness until I was informed about his NYC subway installation in the 14st / 8 Ave station. Sure enough, there are dozens of bronze statues down there that are simultaneously cute and creepy.
This piece, which I found on his website, stunningly captures the destructive and bloated nature of the US Consumer cycle. I was informed that I could have a copy (9 were made) for only [price redacted].
Anyway, I will be attending a tour of his studio on Sunday, March 16th
at 3:00pm, sponsored by openhousenewyork (thanks Meg).
If you wish to join me, click here.
“Sen. Hillary Clinton took a swipe at her daughter’s profession today at an economic roundtable discussion at a restaurant in Parma, Ohio, suggesting wealthy investment bankers and hedge fund managers on Wall Street aren’t doing real ‘work.’”
—
Careful Hillary: Do not bite the hand that feeds you.
La Cara de Cuba
“The best thing about today is that the day after tomorrow is the day before Friday. So close I can almost taste it.”
—Me.
Go-Rilla
Consumerist.com ran a story about an impending crash in the auto loan industry. I forwarded the article to my good friend who’s family owns several auto dealerships in the Midwest, thinking he might be interested in the article.
His response: “I’ma tell [dad] to get one of those gorrillas”
*Sigh*
For Meg: The Whitehouse's Macaroni & Cheese
From The White House Family Cookbook by H. Haller and V. Aronson
Serves 4 as an entree, or 6 to 8 as a side dish
- 1/2 pound macaroni
- 1 tablespoon butter
- 1 egg, beaten
- 3 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese
- 1 cup warm milk
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon dry mustard
- 1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
- a pinch of paprika
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Butter a 2-quart casserole dish.
2. Add macaroni to 2 quarts of boiling salted water and cook for 10 minutes.
3. Drain well in a colander. Transfer to a mixing bowl.
4. Stir in butter and beaten egg. Add 2 1/2 cups of the grated cheese.
5. In a small bowl, combine milk with salt, mustard and Worcestershire sauce.
6. Spoon macaroni and cheese into the prepared casserole. Pour milk mixture over and sprinkle top with the remaining cheese.
7. Sprinkle with paprika. Bake on middle shelf of preheated oven for 35 to 40 minutes, or until macaroni is firm to the touch and the top is crusty and browned.
8. Serve at once, either as a light entree accompanied by a hot green vegetable and a crisp salad, or as a side dish with Hamburgers or Meat Loaf.
Dethroner.com testimonial: “A few years back Carolyn and I decided to look for the “Greatest Mac and Cheese recipe of all time.” While I’m not sure this White House Kitchen recipe is the one, it was good enough that we stopped looking!”
A Rejoinder
I still believe the United States has a responsibility to restore liberty and standards-of-living to - at the least - the levels Iraqis enjoyed under Saddam’s rule. However, there is a very dark possibility that our emmisaries are contributing to the crimes against humanity, rather than fighting to end them.
Prime Minister Yasuo Fukuda of Japan voiced anger on Tuesday over accusations that a United States marine had raped a 14-year-old girl in Okinawa, calling the episode “unforgivable.”
In 1995, three American marines gang-raped a 12-year-old girl in Okinawa, setting off large protests there.
Officials in Okinawa, a set of subtropical islands hundreds of miles from the main Japanese islands and an independent kingdom until the 19th century, have long complained that the prefecture is host to most of the more than 40,000 United States soldiers stationed in Japan.
“The sign in the city center warns women that they’d better adhere to Muslim teachings or face the penalty. And all around the Iraqi city of Basra, women are showing up dead — many beaten and beheaded. Some have been strangled to death, their faces disfigured; others beheaded. All bear signs of torture.”
—
I challenge anyone who thinks the best way to end this is by bringing the troops home.
It's either Van Gogh's ear, or....
Once again, tomatoes remind us with visual intensity that they are a shockingly sexual fruit.
“When Eli Manning drops back to pass … the monsters charging at him from every direction are in his face so quickly that you flinch and stifle the urge to scream, ”Watch out!” There is no way, you think, that he can possibly evaluate which of these beasts is most likely to get to him first. At that moment any sensible person in Manning’s shoes would flee. Or, perhaps, collapse to the ground and beg for mercy. Yet he is expected to wait … wait … wait … until the microsecond before he is crushed. He’s like a man who has pulled the pin from a grenade and is refusing to throw it.”
—Michael Lewis, New York Times Magazine
